Stepping into Leadership: 19 Pieces of Advice from Experienced Leaders

The biggest mistake first-time leaders make is thinking leadership is about having all the answers. It’s not. People don’t want a know-it-all, they want a leader who is real enough to say, “Teach me.”

That’s the shift from “me” to “we”. The moment you stop performing and start listening, everything changes. Learn what your people actually do, learn what makes their jobs hard, and pay attention not just to what they say, but to what they don’t say.

In one of my roles, we made every new leader spend days with frontline customer service agents. Headset on, sitting side by side, listening to call after call, watching them move between systems while keeping their tone calm and professional. Seeing how their performance was scored, where they could lose bonuses, and where they earned them. And then, after a few days of shadowing, those leaders were put on the phones themselves. Nothing builds appreciation faster than taking the calls, hearing the frustration of a customer in real time, and trying to keep up with the pace of the work.

That kind of experience changes you. It forces humility and reminds you that your job isn’t to prove you’re the smartest in the room, it’s to understand what your people are up against and create the conditions for them to succeed.

If you think leadership is about you, you’ve already lost. It’s about us. Always.

I built my career as a recruitment consultant on drive, accountability, and holding myself to the highest standards, which led to becoming my company’s top revenue generator. When I was offered a leadership role, I assumed those same standards would translate directly to leading others.

Very quickly, I learned how frustrating it can be to expect everyone to operate at my pace or intensity. Holding people to my standards wasn’t fair because each person was at a different stage in their own journey, and had different levels of drive.

Through coaching and experience, I came to understand that leadership isn’t about pulling everyone up to your level. It’s about meeting people where they are and helping them take the next step forward, whether that’s improving one part of their process, developing a new skill, or building confidence.

Those small, consistent steps compound into big wins. Individually, they advance careers. Collectively, they elevate team performance.

To me, that’s what strong leadership looks like… not demanding that others mirror you, but guiding them so they keep moving forward from wherever they stand on the chessboard.

Stepping into leadership is brave—and uncomfortable. Any time you try something new, you learn and grow, and growth brings a level of discomfort. Humans crave certainty and predictability. Taking on a leadership role means walking straight into the unknown. You’re putting yourself in the arena, and being in the arena often comes with judgment from the people in the stands.

If you’ve been promoted internally, the challenge is even sharper. Yesterday’s peers are today’s direct reports, and that shift can spark fear on both sides.

The single most important thing a new leader can do is build real, meaningful relationships with every relevant stakeholder before making any big moves. Start with your direct reports. Spend one-on-one time with each person. Be curious. Ask what’s going well in their work and, if they’re open to it, what’s happening outside of work. Questions like:

* What does success in your role look like for you?

* What roadblocks can I help remove?

* What communication style have you appreciated from past supervisors?

These conversations put marbles in the “trust jar.” Every positive interaction: listening, giving specific praise, pitching in when their list is too long, adds another marble. Critique, judgment, or harshness empties the jar fast.

Then, invest in relationships with your peers. Understanding what’s happening in other parts of the organization and having allies when you’re not in the room will accelerate your effectiveness far more than any policy rollout.

I’ve seen many new leaders come in hot with grand ideas, sweeping process changes, and new rules. It almost always backfires. The team feels overrun, resentment builds, and buy-in disappears. Instead, let the team co-create solutions. When people help build the plan, they’re invested in its success and you’re recognized as a leader rather than a rule enforcer.

Strong relationships drive business success. As a new leader, your job is to earn trust first. The strategies, the metrics, and the big ideas can wait until the people you lead believe you’re on their side.

Don’t try to be the hero. Focus on becoming the guide.

It’s tempting, especially early on, to think leadership means having all the answers. When we think of leadership, we conjure up images of these greater-than-thou leaders that we want to emulate. But that kind of pressure can hold us back and overcomplicate how we show up for our team. You assume your team is constantly looking to you for certainty, direction, and strength. But here’s the hard truth: most new leaders burn themselves out trying to prove they’re worthy of the role, when what their team really needs is someone who listens, clears the path, and builds trust.

Leadership isn’t about being the smartest person in the room. It’s about helping the room get smarter together.

That means letting go of the need to be right, or to solve every problem yourself. It means learning to ask better questions instead of giving quick answers. And it means shifting your measure of success from what you can accomplish to what your team can achieve because of how you show up.

So many new leaders focus on performance and productivity. And those things matter. But the deeper question is this: What is it like to be on the other side of you?

Do your team members feel seen and supported, or micromanaged and second-guessed?

Are they confident to take risks, or constantly waiting for approval?

Are they growing under your leadership, or just getting things done?

If that stings a little, it should because leadership isn’t neutral. You are constantly shaping your team’s experience. The question is whether you’re doing it intentionally.

What matters most in the early days isn’t charisma, strategy, or vision. It’s your ability to build trust and consistency. And that comes from rhythm.

Have regular 1:1s. Clarify expectations. Communicate decisions transparently. Follow through on what you say. Reflect with your team, not just on wins, but on what felt hard. These may sound simple, but when done consistently, they create the foundation of a high-performing, psychologically safe team.

And here’s one last piece of advice: don’t fake confidence. Your team doesn’t need you to have all the answers. They need you to care, to show up, and to learn out loud.

So drop the hero story and be the guide instead. Take the pressure off yourself, and you, yourself, and your team will thank you!

Anchor in leader identity first! New leaders are eager to roll up their sleeves for the work, role, and metrics. While competencies and performance are vital, they will always fall short if new leaders don’t do the inner work of clarifying who they are as leaders.

Having coached many emerging leaders and as I outline in “Leading Becomes You,” my top advice is to pursue leader identity clarity: “Who am I confidently becoming as a leader?” and authentic connection: “Who will mentor me and how can I build real trust with my team?”

The intersection of leader identity clarity and connection is the matrix for flourishing leaders and followers. Clarify your personalized approach to leadership and build your competencies from there!

Stepping into a leadership role for the first time is something you can’t fully prepare for. No book or course can tell you exactly how it will feel once you’re responsible for a team.

What helped me most:

Being open with my team about the fact that I didn’t have all the answers. Instead of pretending to know everything, I tried to approach leadership as a learning journey together with the people I manage.

Why it matters:

When you listen to your team’s challenges and work with them to find solutions, you build trust. It’s a deeper bond than if you simply impose your own view of “what’s right.” Over time, that bond makes you a better leader, because your growth is shaped by their real environment, not just your own assumptions.

Advice to first-time leaders:

Don’t pressure yourself to be perfect or to have all the answers. Focus on creating space for honest conversations, listening carefully, and solving problems side by side. The best teams don’t just follow a leader, they grow with them.

Leadership isn’t about pretending to know, it’s about being willing to learn together.

When stepping into a leadership role for the first time, it is important to recognize that you are a great leader — and also a beginner.

It is important for new leaders to focus on bringing a growth mindset and being curious, as opposed to leaning too heavily on expertise. Many leaders find themselves in leadership positions because of the expertise they have built. Being curious and asking questions instead of focusing on always having the right answer will allow a new leader to learn from and empower those around them.

In the spirit of bringing a growth mindset, it is important for leaders to seek guidance from mentors and feedback from others. Leaders who are open to feedback will build trust with staff and colleagues. By demonstrating deep curiosity, leaders will better understand what is most needed from them in the role and how they can adapt and grow in order to be most effective.

A growth mindset allows a leader to recognize where they are in their leadership journey, noting excellence where it exists and areas for continued growth and development.

The biggest mistake first-time leaders make is thinking leadership is about control when in reality it’s all about energy. How you generate it, transmit it, regulate it, and convert resistance into progress. If you don’t understand the flow of human energy in your team, no strategy or title will save you. My advice is simple and straightforward. Focus less on looking like the boss and more on learning how your people actually move work forward. Listen, document, and then set expectations you’re willing to enforce. Everything else is either polishing what already works or fixing what’s broken.

Dr. Thomas W. Faulkner, SPHR, LSSBB

The most important thing you can do as a first-time leader is to build self-awareness before building strategies. Leadership isn’t just about directing others, it’s about knowing who you are, how you naturally lead, and how your energy and decisions impact those around you. When you understand your leadership style, your energetic capacity, and your emotional triggers, you can lead with clarity instead of reactivity. Prioritize developing emotional intelligence, self-recognition, and communication strategies rooted in authenticity. This foundation will help you navigate challenges with discernment, reduce resistance, and inspire trust, which is the true starting point for effective leadership.

Be mindful of taking your time to get acclimated with your lateral peers and direct reports (if they exist). New leaders reflect a part of who they already are while embarking upon a new learning curve which will test their judgment skills. They’ll need to assess whom to trust and to what degree in order to delegate any work collaborations. Some leaders adjust more easily than others; this is due to their pre-existing self-development, life experiences, and personality. Others undergo a real-time transformation by being catapulted into the spotlight (whether it’s on a global or local level) where being under the microscope for your decisions and outcomes can be overwhelming at first.

Take your time but remain mindful that your colleagues are relying on you to lead by remaining responsive to their questions as they continue working in their roles. New leaders should avoid analysis paralysis because this freezes progress among those working closely with your role. Performing employees leverage patience, but abusing their patience can result in driving out employees who can support your leadership initiatives. Don’t rush into your role because it’s easier to become dismissive of your environment and people when they’re situated to help you transition into your role.

My most important tip is – good manners go a long way. Learn them and apply them in all of your engagements.

Focus on active listening. Listen to your team, your employees, their problems and their wins. Focus on how you can ease their problems, what systems you can put into place to make their jobs easier. Focus on their wins and how you can highlight those wins and implement systems to have more successes. Actively listen to their feedback, suggestions, and ideas, because as a leader your job is to support your team and coach or mentor them first, then the rest of your job. So I’d start with active listening, and work from there.

When stepping into leadership for the first time, remember that you do not need to be the expert in everything. Leadership is not about having all the answers; it is about creating the conditions where others can thrive. The most important thing to focus on early is listening and building trust with your team. Take time to understand their strengths, motivations, and concerns, and then use your role to remove barriers, open doors, and give them the visibility they deserve. When you empower others in this way, you set the stage for both your growth as a leader and your team’s success.

As a first-time leader, it is imperative to know that thoughts drive emotions and behaviors. Having self-awareness regarding these thoughts creates a solid platform for effective leadership.

There are common thoughts for new leaders which can undermine their performance and overall effectiveness. Thoughts like “I’m not ready”, “No one will believe I’m capable”, and “I can’t make any mistakes because I’ll lose credibility” are examples of automatic thoughts that have detrimental effects on leaders’ actions. They can lead to anxiety, perfectionism, micromanaging, and even burnout. But these thoughts aren’t facts; they are simply perceptions. When new leaders challenge them and reframe them into statements that are beneficial to their performance, they become more confident and successful.

As an example, an automatic thought might be, “If I don’t have all the answers, my team won’t have confidence in my abilities.” Reframing this thought to, “It’s not my job to know everything but rather, to create space for the team’s expertise and to guide decisions,” helps significantly. This shift reduces pressure, supports healthier emotional regulation, and encourages more collaborative leadership.

The single most crucial piece of advice I can give a new leader is this: lead from the front and have your team’s back, unequivocally. When you’re preparing for a tough trial or dealing with a difficult client, your team needs to see you in the trenches with them, not directing from a distance. They need to know that if they make a mistake while taking a calculated risk for a client, you will stand with them and take the heat. Trust is the currency of any successful team, and it’s earned when your people know, without a doubt, that their leader is their fiercest advocate.

With that in mind, the most important thing to focus on is the growth and confidence of your people. Your new role isn’t about being the best lawyer in the room anymore. It’s about building a room full of the best lawyers. Invest your time in mentoring your team. Give them opportunities to argue motions and take depositions, and teach them how to think strategically, not just how to complete a task. When you empower your people and invest in their success, you aren’t just developing skilled professionals—you are building a loyal, formidable team that will fight for your clients, and for your firm, as hard as you do.

Leadership is not just a title; it comes with a huge responsibility on your shoulders. It’s no longer about you, but about the people who depend on you. Every single decision you make, whether it’s about guiding, creating opportunities, or supporting your team through challenges, affects them financially and mentally.

Even I was once a beginner before becoming a leader, and I learned that leaders should be approachable. Team members should not hesitate to share ideas or concerns.

So from my experience, first-time leaders should focus on building trust, empathy, and motivating team members to communicate transparently.

When you make the people around you comfortable and allow them to speak, you make a big change. You will naturally earn respect and create a culture where people want to give their best.

I have just completed my doctoral research on leadership competence and business success (May 2025, from Liberty University), and some interesting findings emerged from that research. The most significant piece of advice I would give is to prioritize personal development, regardless of whether your organization pays for it or supports your participation. The Peter Principle is something that very few leaders are aware of, particularly those who step into leadership from career moves without prior academic exposure to leadership training. The Peter Principle states: “every employee tends to rise to their level of incompetence, meaning they are promoted until they reach a position where they can no longer perform effectively.” If a leader continues to grow, their capacity will expand, and they will not reach a ceiling in their role, finding the limits of effective performance.

Focus on your emotional intelligence/quotient, or EQ, at all times. The higher you are on the EQ scale, and the better you perform with people while enhancing these skills, the more you’ll thrive. Across various leadership positions, I’ve worked with a wide range of people, a wide range of education, and a wide range of what you’d call qualifications. The best leaders always display the best EQ, simply because they work so well with people and can dial in well.