Living intentionally and realizing personal power requires not just reacting to life as it unfolds, but aligning each step with a greater purpose. This credo has been behind the rocketing success of New York City’s (and state’s) top real estate broker, Bianca D’Alessio, who also stars in HBO Max’s hit series, Selling the Hamptons. D’Alessio discusses this philosophy in her new book, Mastering Intentions: 10 Practices to Amplify Power and Lead with Lasting Impact.
Grit Daily: In Mastering Intentions, you outline 10 practices for amplifying personal power. Which of these practices do you think most startup founders overlook, and how can focusing on them change the trajectory of a new business?
Bianca D’Alessio: The practice most often overlooked is “clarity of intention.” Startups are trained to value speed above all else — sell product, raise capital, hire talent quickly. But speed without clarity is just chaos at scale. I’ve seen so many founders exhaust themselves and their teams chasing growth for growth’s sake, only to realize they weren’t building toward the business, or the life, they truly wanted.
When a founder takes the time to articulate a clear intention — Why are we doing this? Who are we really here to serve? What impact do we want to have in five years, not just five weeks? — everything sharpens. Decisions are made faster because the filter is clear. Teams align more deeply because they know what they’re working toward beyond the next milestone. Customers and investors sense that authenticity.
Clarity doesn’t slow founders down; it accelerates them in the right direction. And in the startup world, direction matters far more than speed.
Grit Daily: You talk a lot about intentional leadership. For entrepreneurs battling constant uncertainty, what does leading with intention really look like on a tough day?
Bianca D’Alessio: On a tough day, intentional leadership isn’t about forcing optimism or pretending everything is fine. It’s about choosing presence over panic. Every entrepreneur knows the feeling of waking up to bad news: a deal fell through, funding didn’t close, a key hire walked away. In those moments, the instinct is to react fast, often from fear. But intention demands a pause.
Leading with intention in uncertainty means grounding yourself before you act. It could be five minutes of deep breathing, journaling, or simply asking: What choice today aligns with the future I want to create? From there, communicate with transparency. Teams don’t need perfection from their leaders — they need honesty, steadiness, and clarity.
I remind myself that tough days are where leadership is tested and trust is built. Anyone can lead when things are easy. Intentional leadership shows up when things are hard. It’s about making one aligned choice, one clear step, even in the storm. That’s what separates a leader from a manager.
Grit Daily: The startup world is obsessed with results and KPIs. How do you convince fast-moving founders that investing time in refining their intentions can drive real, measurable outcomes?
Bianca D’Alessio: I tell founders this: Intention isn’t “soft.” It’s strategy in its purest form. Every KPI you care about — revenue, retention, growth — traces back to the clarity of your intention. If your intention is misaligned, you can hit your numbers and still burn out your team, alienate customers, or build a company that doesn’t last.
Take customer-first cultures as an example. A founder who sets the intention to truly put customers at the center will naturally prioritize retention, NPS, and long-term LTV. That intention shows up in how the product is designed, how support is staffed, even how fundraising pitches are crafted. The KPIs follow because the intention is driving consistent, aligned action.
On the flip side, I’ve watched founders chase quarterly revenue targets without a clear intention. And while they might hit the short-term numbers, they often lose their best people, their momentum, and eventually their vision. Intention doesn’t replace metrics; it informs them. And when you align the two, you get outcomes that are sustainable and measurable.
Grit Daily: Was there a defining moment in your own career when you realized the power of setting clear intentions? How did that experience shape your philosophy?
Bianca D’Alessio: Yes. The turning point came when a business partnership I’d invested deeply in fell apart. At its core, the failure was about differing leadership styles and ego. My partners at the time saw everyone, even our own team members, as competitors rather than collaborators. Instead of inspiring, they diminished. Instead of empowering, they micromanaged. That simply wasn’t my mindset or my mission, and ultimately the partnership couldn’t survive.
As painful as it was to walk away from the pipeline of business we’d worked so hard to build up, that ending gave me clarity. When I started over, I set a new intention: to build a culture rooted in empowerment, collaboration, and shared success. I committed to leading in a way that lifted people up, not held them down.
That intention became the heartbeat of my business. It allowed me to attract extraordinary talent because people want to be part of an environment where they’re valued and inspired. With those people came exceptional clients, and as my clients’ businesses grew, my team grew — and we grew together.
That experience shaped my entire philosophy of leadership. Intention isn’t just about setting personal goals; it’s about defining the culture you create. When you set the intention to rise with others, instead of racing ahead of them, the success that follows isn’t only greater, it’s shared.
Grit Daily: For founders managing small, scrappy teams, what’s one actionable step they can take tomorrow to start leading with more impact?
Bianca D’Alessio: The simplest, most powerful step is to begin every interaction with intention. Before jumping into a team meeting, a one-on-one, or even a quick Slack exchange, pause and ask: What’s the intention here? What outcome do I want this person — or this group — to walk away with?
It sounds obvious, but most small teams move so quickly that they skip this step entirely. Meetings spiral into fire drills, updates get lost in the noise, and people walk away unclear about priorities. By simply starting each meeting with one clear intention — whether it’s to solve a problem, align on priorities, or brainstorm freely — you create focus.
When I rebuilt my team, I made this practice non-negotiable. Every Monday morning, we begin by setting both our collective intention for the week and our individual intentions. It keeps the energy aligned, helps us move faster with less friction, and ensures even the scrappiest team members feel like they’re building something bigger than themselves. Intentionality costs nothing, but its impact is exponential.
Grit Daily: In an era of hustle culture, how do you balance ambition with the self-awareness and reflection your book advocates? Do you see these as compatible, or is there a tension modern leaders need to resolve?
Bianca D’Alessio: I don’t see ambition and reflection as opposites — I see them as complements. Ambition without reflection leads to burnout and misalignment. Reflection without ambition leads to stagnation. The magic happens when you integrate the two.
Hustle culture has conditioned us to believe success only comes from constant motion. But relentless hustle without pause isn’t sustainable. True ambition is disciplined, not chaotic. And discipline requires reflection: taking the time to ask if the actions you’re taking are aligned with the future you actually want to build.
For me, reflection is what keeps my ambition alive long-term. I schedule white space into my calendar to give myself time to step back, assess, and reset. That reflection ensures that when I push hard, I’m pushing in the right direction.
So no, it’s not about resolving tension, it’s about rejecting the false choice. You don’t have to choose between being ambitious and being intentional. The leaders who last are the ones who know when to accelerate and when to pause, and who have the courage to honor both.
To learn more about Bianca’s business and her book, visit her website.
