Initiating difficult conversations in the workplace is essential for maintaining a healthy and productive environment. These conversations can involve pay and benefits, performance issues, or inappropriate behavior. While they are often uncomfortable and unpredictable, mastering them is crucial. Developing interpersonal business skills to handle these situations is invaluable for any professional, including leadership, C-suite executives, and entrepreneurs. Here are three tips to help you navigate these challenging discussions:
Prepare Thoroughly
Preparation is the only aspect you can control in a difficult conversation. You can’t predict someone else’s reactions, emotions, or feelings, so focus on your preparation. Plan and anticipate possible directions for the conversation, including objections and questions. Writing down your responses can help you refine your points and rehearse effectively.
Start by scripting the conversation. Draft everything you want to say without over-editing, then review and revise it critically. It can be helpful to step away and revisit your script later with fresh eyes or have a trusted person review it and provide feedback.
Then, read your script out loud. This will help you gauge how it sounds and make necessary adjustments. The preparation will boost your confidence, improve your strategy, and increase.
Say you have to have a difficult conversation about letting someone go. In advance, you should have a strategy regarding how much you will share, who else will be in the room with you, when and how the news will be delivered, and the key phrases you will communicate. Your HR and legal teams might provide some guidance, but ultimately, there is a delicate balance between being empathetic and potentially sharing too much or saying something you shouldn’t.
Have Face-to-Face Interactions
Your conversation will occur in different environments, depending on whether you are remote, hybrid, or back-in-the-office full-time.
Difficult conversations are most effective in person, as this allows for immediate, real-time communication and observation of body language. These discussions should occur in a neutral location, regardless of whether the topic is an employee’s performance, growth, salary, or behavior. Initial feelings of anger or other strong emotions are often tied to the current environment, so moving to a neutral space helps disconnect from these associations and prevents either party from feeling a position of power. This creates a calmer, more comfortable atmosphere conducive to constructive dialogue.
Consider the adverse media reaction to mass layoffs announced via email – and many companies are guilty of this. In January 2023, Google shed 6% of its workforce, and employees took to social media to announce they found out about their last day via email. More recently, Cloudflare found itself in hot water after an employee recorded and posted a lay-off discussion. The video shows the employee was given little explanation from HR as to why she was let go from the company and communicated in a way that most viewers felt lacked empathy. Difficult conversations via email show that employees are just numbers to the company and that the company doesn’t have time to meet with each person individually. In a remote world, opt for a video conversation instead if a face-to-face meeting in a neutral location isn’t possible. Whether you’re a manager or an executive, always address difficult conversations privately and avoid less-personal mediums like email.
Avoid having difficult discussions over the phone, email, or internal messaging systems, as these can be impersonal and may lead to misunderstandings.
Communicating Effectively
Unless you facilitate conflict resolution for others, use “we” statements when discussing the conflict. This approach links your feelings and reactions to the event, preventing accusatory statements or demands that could derail difficult conversations. For example, saying, “We feel frustrated when we are not included,” promotes quicker resolution than, “You never include us,” which often puts the other party on the defensive and prolongs the conflict.
Listen and Maintain Perspective
After presenting your pre-planned points, be prepared to listen. Active listening is vital for successful communication and relationship building. Show that you are engaged by not multitasking, taking notes, and providing active feedback. Acknowledge and affirm what the other person says, and don’t expect the same level of engagement in return, though it is helpful if it happens.
Repeat back important statements to ensure understanding. This fundamental aspect of active listening reassures the other party that you are paying attention and helps confirm your comprehension of their points. Final conflict resolution can only proceed once both parties clearly understand the agreement’s terms, and repeating crucial statements reinforces this understanding.
Once both sides have shared their perspectives, work together to brainstorm solutions. Often, brainstorming to reach a mutual solution can resolve the conflict and benefit you both. If you can refrain from being pushy, collaborating can strengthen your relationship and enhance your opportunity to walk away from the conflict with an outcome that meets your needs.
However, it’s often impossible for both parties to be delighted. In such cases, brainstorming and collaboration can lead to a resolution that, while not ideal for either party, allows both to move forward. Both parties may need to let go of specific terms to resolve the conflict.
When a mutual agreement cannot be reached, consider involving an expert or authority figure can be an effective conflict resolution strategy. When a conflict strains relationships or creates stress and other workplace issues, it may be time to escalate the matter to an authority. At work, consider involving HR, or in any situation, seek the services of a professional mediator.
Remember, difficult conversations are a normal part of professional life. They may seem daunting now, but with experience, you will handle them more easily. Keeping perspective helps you stay grounded and empathetic. Recognize that in the grand scheme of your career, this conversation is just one of many. This mindset can make the discussion feel less intimidating and more manageable.
Mastering these conversation strategies is just the beginning. Practice will help you determine when to apply specific tactics and when to adapt your approach. You can maintain a peaceful and productive working environment by considering all potential strategies. As a leader, manager, or executive, your ability to handle difficult conversations effectively will be a key factor in your organization’s or team’s success.
