3 steps to follow for flexible and empathetic leadership that doesn’t sacrifice the needs of your team, your clients, or your business.
Empathy is a key ingredient to successful leadership and a successful workplace culture. It gives your team permission to be open about what they are feeling and going through. It also creates a safe space where your team feels comfortable confessing to overwhelm, which often affects work performance.
It’s not empathy alone that’s needed, however. Creating a supportive work environment also requires accountability. In order to balance your business needs with the needs of those who work for you, empathy and accountability must go hand in hand. And that can be tricky to manage without the right tools.
An Empathetic Role Model
I learned empathy from my mother. Maybe it was a result of her upbringing, as she was one of 10 children. Growing up, I always noticed how caring and attentive she was to the needs of others and how that made people feel and behave around her.
But she also taught me a valuable lesson about empathy. Without boundaries, empathy can easily result in overwhelm, burnout, resentment, and scarcity. It’s easy to lose sight of your own needs when you’re so focused on the needs of everyone else.
Accountability Is the Key to Leading with Empathy
An empathetic leader needs to hold themselves accountable by understanding where and how they can be of support. As someone who is naturally empathetic, I’ve learned that my default is to give people chances, and often, too many. As a result, the consequences and frustration that follow land squarely in my lap. I allowed boundaries to be breached when my gut was telling me to do otherwise.
One example I recall is a previous team member who I’d have regular conversations with about tasks and projects not being completed on time. On every occasion I brought the issue up, there was always a reason — and a valid reason at that. Whether it be a sick partner and needing to pick up the slack, moving house, or some other plausible explanation for missed deadlines, the reality is that they kept piling up, along with the work that wasn’t getting done.
My default at that time was to say “Sure, I understand.” But, this never seemed to change anything. Work was still not being completed in the extended timeline that had been discussed. This resulted in other team members getting frustrated and clients rightfully asking for updates.
3 Steps for Balancing Empathy with Accountability
That experience sparked a huge learning curve for me. I learned that you can be both an empathetic leader and also find ways to continue to steer the ship. Because if you don’t, then that single employee and those repeated disruptions have the potential to take the entire ship down with them.
If you’re struggling to balance the needs of your organization with the personal needs of a valued team member, then here’s a system that might help you navigate these choppy waters.
Be a Good Listener
Make time for the person who needs an empathetic ear. Ensure the space is private and free of distractions so they feel heard. Empathy is about deep listening, so before you start thinking about or offering up solutions, let them have the floor.
When the moment arrives to chime in, it’s often helpful to clarify that you’ve understood the situation first. You can do this by recounting what you’ve gathered from what they have said and asking them if you’ve understood them correctly. This goes a long way in demonstrating that you’ve been present and that they have been heard.
Provide Support and Resources Where You Can
The key here is “where you can.” You want to be helpful and provide extra flexibility when it’s needed. But bending too much can create a domino effect that’s not good for anyone. Take your time to think about creative solutions to the problem that will cause the least disruption yet still allow the team member to take the time and space they need.
Remember that you have a business to run, and many people rely on that running effectively, both clients and employees. Be sure you’re asking all of the necessary questions to determine whether this is a short-term disruption or something that requires an extended leave.
Set a Reasonable Timeline for Check-ins
It’s always great to receive a message and be reassured that someone is thinking of you when you’re going through a difficult period. But check-ins should be left at that. An occasional message or two should be thoughtful, succinct, and always respectful of the original arrangement.
When the agreed upon time frame is about a week out for long-term leave or a couple of days out from short-term leave, then it’s appropriate to check-in and see if that arrangement is on schedule. But remember that any changes also need to work for the team and the business. So having those wider discussions is a wise move before any extensions are offered.
As we move toward the future of a braver and bolder style of entrepreneurship, the corporate environment changes with that tide. The old business model of separating work needs and personal realities is fading into the past.
Empathy is becoming the rule, rather than the exception. Recognizing and responding to your own needs is the first step toward being able to do the same for others. This is perhaps the most valuable currency when it comes to creating a workplace culture that makes good employees want to stick around.
