Look, we’ve all been there before. Remember that day when you were talking to your crush and you were planning on asking them out? You’ve practiced what you were going to say, rehearsed it front of the mirror 50 times and RIGHT BEFORE you put it all on the line they hit you with one of these friend zone classics:
“You’re like a brother/sister to me.”
“You’re like…. one of my best friends!”
“Is your friend seeing anybody?”
“One day, you’re going to make somebody else really happy.”
Welcome….To the Friend Zone
Chances are, if you’ve ever been hit with one those lines above, you’ve just been friend-zoned. It’s a brutal place to be in, my friends. It’s that moment you finally realize that that special someone that you’ve been pining over just doesn’t feel the same way about you.
It’s a sad reality, but the good news is you’re not alone! In fact, if you listen closely you will hear the weeping of millions of people around the world who are in the exact same boat as you. The people I’m about to talk about however, got it worse than most. Here are five text messages that put people in the dreaded friend zone.
Quick Disclaimer: This list is all in good fun and I’m in no way shaming anybody in this list. Sometimes, it just wasn’t meant to be and we all have the free will and autonomy to like who we like.
#5: Super Mega Ultra Besties
Wow…..Here lies Adam…R.I.P. Listen man, I applaud your guts to come out and say what you want out of this friendship. A lot of times friend-zoning happens because people don’t always communicate effectively. Our boy Adam however, COULD NOT have been more clear.
He proceeds to get curved with every additional text and the final message is just the epitome of pouring salt on a wound. If I were Adam, however, I probably would have tried one more time. There are few titles better than that of Super Ultra Duper Mega Best Friend.
#4: I Love You Like….My Grandpa?
While it may seem like an impossibility, there are few people who have made a daring and courageous escape from the dreaded friend-zone. Ross and Rachael from Friends come to mind. However, when your crush actually says that they love you, not as a brother or sister, but as their elderly grandfather, I’m 99% confident there is NO ESCAPE.
Think about it. You’ve just been put into the same category as the elderly man who farts at the dinner table and solves crossword puzzles as his daily form of entertainment. While this situation is pretty hopeless, I will wish the OP good luck. There are plenty of fish in the sea!…..Just don’t hurt your hip gramps. 😉
#3: An Awkward Miscommunication
Sometimes you really just have to follow the K.I.S.S guideline (Keep It Simple Stupid). When you try to get too clever in your delivery you often fail in effectively getting your point across. Our girl Jess here tried to be too smart in this text exchange and it potentially launched her crush into the arms of another girl. Whether the guy in this situation is absolutely clueless or her delivery was just off, I truly hope she got another shot. Just remember Jess: keep it simple.
#2: A for Effort
This really doesn’t need too many words. When someone actually goes out of there way to google search a metaphorical image of you trying to escape the friend zone, you’ve already lost my friend. I can’t help but think that this poor guy must have tried numerous times in order to warrant this kind of response. Either that, or this girl he’s after is the most savage human on the face of the Earth.
#1: Don’t Mess With My Cereal
This….This is exactly how you should respond to something like this. It has to be pretty awkward when you’re just minding your own business and some creep hits you up trying to start some weird fantasy. I can’t even blame her because when I get the craving for a bowl of cereal, NOTHING WILL STOP ME. Cereal is the staple of breakfast foods! What if it was a bowl of Cocoa Pebbles? No one is worth giving that up.